There’s a fallout whenever I achieve anything. There’s a bigger fallout when I talk. Where my mind (Steve) picks it apart, tries to ruin it, tries to sour it. Even when I do everything to mitigate, even when I really trust the person, it’s bad. And if I’m honest, it’s getting worse. Idk how to quiet my head. Idk how to make the dread lessen. Idk how to deal with this monster… can’t talk about it, that’s for sure. I feel utterly stuck.